Caught In a Loop of Rambling Questions...

I hate to sound like an old hen sitting here asking myself, “Where does the time go?” But seriously, where does it go? We’re almost to Groundhog Day and I think I am still tired from staying up late on New Year’s Eve. Does time really have to fly this quickly? How does each day at work DRAG ASS while the weeks and months fly by? Do I sound just like your grandma yet?

Speaking of drag ass, not in the passage of time sense, but in the dog’s dragging his ass on my carpet sense, why do dogs eat string? Do they have the attention span of a flea? Did we not just deal with the whole string-eating thing last week? How does this dog not remember the humiliation of having to beg and plead with his big, watery eyes for me to cut that string off only last week? I typically remember embarrassing moments like that right on into the next lifetime, and the dog can’t retain this for a week?

Speaking of retaining, and not in the memory kind of way, but in the bloated water-retaining way, why are my fingers puffy? They look like little Lincoln logs right now, and they feel funny when I try to bend them. Why would I eat anything salty… ever?

Speaking of salty, and not in the food-flavoring sort of way, but in the salty old man way, why do old men tell you their life stories in the waiting room at the dentist’s office? It would never occur to me to break open the story of my life with a stranger waiting to see the dentist. Of course, my life story is not nearly as entertaining as his story was, but still… a stranger… at the dentist’s office.

Speaking of strangers, and not in the stranger you don’t know sense, but in the people you know and don’t understand sense, my mom just called. Good talking to you, Mom – all 3 minutes and 11 seconds of time well spent - but I think I’m heading off to bed. As you can see, I’m suffering from mental exhaustion with all of these questions and my bed is calling me.