There are about 3 weeks out of each month when I could rationally tell you that I have a miserable problem with PMS. During that 4th week, I suggest you not mention it at all because you're the one with the problem. I am fine, dammit. The rest of world doesn't understand me, and I might just cry because I can't open a jar of peanut butter. During that 4th week, I have no idea why I feel that way and the last thing anyone wants to do is blame my PMS for their inability to do anything right. Seriously, I don't recommend it unless you want to know how that fireplace poker will look sticking out of your ass. And don't ask me any unnecessary questions about anything, because my answer will be unkind and will probably involve stabbing you or setting you on fire.
So that brings me to the last several weeks of perpetual misery. P no longer stands for Pre at all... it stands for perpetual. How can it be PRE when you have the MS part off and on for 22 days and counting? How is this fair? Can we just have the entire works removed if I sign 12 forms stating that I do not plan to have any more children? Will the pope sign off on this? No, I really don't have to be in agreement with the pope on everything; I've probably already got a reserved seat on the bus to hell. Anyway, I digress... again... as usual.
Honestly, I don't really want to have it all removed, I just want all of my female stuff to fall in line, to behave, and act in the prescribed manner. I'm worried that if I have it out, I'll probably grow a beard, or at least a few noticeable whiskers (believe me, there may be a whisker post soon because I really can't stand that shit), and I do not want to spend a fortune on permanent hair removal. Why does aging come with additional hair on previously non-hairy parts? Is there something I can take so I will be spared this gorilla-like transformation? Is this why our eyesight becomes worse as we age; so we don't SEE the beard we're growing? I have questions. Will someone call their mother and find out all of this stuff for me, please? I need to know soon, I am 40 and I have to start making plans.
Anyway, I had a point when I started writing this post. I think it was something along the lines of lobbying for a new meaning behind the PMS acronym. I want it to be Perpetual Misery Syndrome unless one of you can come up with something better. I believe Psychotic Man Slayers is already in use and I really don't wish the fella's any harm... unless they talk to me... during that 4th week. The week that has lasted 22 days.
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Well, you could look at this way... you only have to deal with it for... ummm... 10 more years...? Maybe less (though I don't know if that's lucky or unlucky). Regardless, I feel for you. I don't have the big PMS issues, but I don't know when the hell it's coming anymore... sometimes it's twice a month. Lovely. I love being in my 40's... except for that!
I hear ya. LOUD and clear.
I now, since turning 43, have a 22 day cycle (joy of joys!) so I never get a day off much less a week. I would totally trade a beard for some stability.
At the risk of sharing TMI, I had it all taken out, a necessity in my case, pre-cancer to the Nth degree, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. My hormones now are the most balanced, although I cry at the drop of a hat (about anything). But many have a week or three at a time, I had three years with no stopping, and let me tell you, you come to hate vacations. Now? Life is great. And strangely enough I haven't had to shave my legs in six months! I wish you the best!! It's a challenge for everyone, each in their own way!
I never get PMS. I'm always a joy to be around.
Umm just don't ask my husband to corroborate this.
After I had my last child I had my tubes tied...I wondered why they couldn't just take it all out, so that I do not have to suffer 3 weeks out of the month. But, after reading your post, I am convinced that I DO NOT want facial hair or any hair anywhere that it is not needed. I have a hard enough time shaving my legs.
Great post! And I can relate.
I don't know if you read her blog, but she had a very funny post on this topic too!
http://lifejustkeepsgettingweirder.blogspot.com/2009/01/meme-of-pms.html
I have a friend who was having similar problems and was able to get some help from her Doctor--I think there was a minor procedure and some Prozac involved. She's not exceptionally hairy these days.
All - thanks for understanding!
Marinka, I check her out and I'm eternally grateful to you for pointing me in that direction. I'm howling with laughter over here!
Jenn - I tried a minor procedure a few months ago, I'm guessing I'll go back for the prozac now!
I hear ya, sister! I just shaved the whiskers this morning...I couldn't see what I was doing either....damn 43 y/o eyeballs!
I actually HAD to purchase reading glasses the other day! AHHHH! That sucked!
I am with you on the Perpetual MS re-name thingy...It is perpetual..sigh...
Aaaaggghhhh...I'm SO sorry! I totally forgot about that award! I suck. I'll fix it now!
I thought I was reading my own blog for a minute and then I remembered all of that bothersome stuff is GONE. The only thing left is the beard. My only suggestion for that is just get a bigger razor. Stopped over from Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder. It does, doesn't it. Life , I mean. Get's weirder
Plenty of husbands across the country would agree.
With or without all the waterworks, there's still a touch of PMS happening -- this was great to read although I finally on the downhill slide of that era of my life!
Honey, I'm 41 and I am right there with you. Are we doomed to be cranky until menopause??
My mom (who is in her late 50's now) told me that she now understands why old ladies put their lipstick on too thick and all over the place. 1- they can't see what the hell they're doing, and 2- your lips start to shrink. But you can't see them doing it.
Not there yet myself, i'm dealing with the dreaded clicking clock, or bomb.
Tina, I'm screaming right now. If I start putting my lipstick on so it's bleeding up my nose like an old lady, I want you and everyone else here to take me out and shoot me.
Hang in there :)
Hey you're not alone. Whenever I had PMS, I actually realize it when I already started a fight with someone or when I am flaming red with anger towards something. So far I am doing fine. When I have PMS, I shut up and do own thing. It doesn't get me to trouble that way but sometimes it helps.
I love the part where there is nothing wrong with you, it's everybody else. Oh how often I feel that way as I creep my way to the nursing home
Finally, the whisker made it into a blog. I'm so proud.
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