Here we are on WTF Wednesday and I’m thinking that this is probably the perfect time to celebrate the F in WTF. I try not to be a potty mouth on my blog, and I think I succeed for the most part, but it is Wednesday and I’m only half-way through the work week. If that doesn’t scream FUCK, I don’t know what does.
So, in celebration of the F word – let’s look at its many forms and uses:
It can be used as noun – ‘The little fucker won’t get out of my office.’ That describes most of the people in my office, other than me, of course. Although… I’m not very big. Oh Crap! I’m a little fucker.
An adjective – ‘I barked my shin on that fucking drawer again.’ I do this at least twice a day, more so on WTF Wednesday I think. I leave the file drawer of my desk open for easy access, forget it’s open, and walk right into it. You’d think I would learn but I will not. I will probably fall ass over tea kettle right through the wall someday soon.
Verb – We don’t really need an example here, do we Folks? If you do, email me separately and I’ll send you an age-appropriate book explaining all that.
Adverb – ‘I am fucking working here!’ Well, not really. Clearly.
Interjection – ‘Fuck!’ Generally best if said under your breath, but you do what need to do.
So you see, these parts of speech all work together to make this one effing fabulous word that can be used to express so much:
Greetings – How the fuck are you?
Instructions – Shut the fuck up!
Problems – I’m so fucked.
Incompetence – She’s chasing her fucking tail again.
Shock – Unfuckingbelievable!
Go home – Get the fuck outta’ here!
Invitation to a Party – Come join the fuckery.
Offering – How about a nice big cup of ‘Shut the Fuck up’?
Befuddlement – What The Fuck!
This should be enough to get you started on your own list of possible uses. Don’t forget the verb uses though; I only want you to be happy.
So, in celebration of the F word – let’s look at its many forms and uses:
It can be used as noun – ‘The little fucker won’t get out of my office.’ That describes most of the people in my office, other than me, of course. Although… I’m not very big. Oh Crap! I’m a little fucker.
An adjective – ‘I barked my shin on that fucking drawer again.’ I do this at least twice a day, more so on WTF Wednesday I think. I leave the file drawer of my desk open for easy access, forget it’s open, and walk right into it. You’d think I would learn but I will not. I will probably fall ass over tea kettle right through the wall someday soon.
Verb – We don’t really need an example here, do we Folks? If you do, email me separately and I’ll send you an age-appropriate book explaining all that.
Adverb – ‘I am fucking working here!’ Well, not really. Clearly.
Interjection – ‘Fuck!’ Generally best if said under your breath, but you do what need to do.
So you see, these parts of speech all work together to make this one effing fabulous word that can be used to express so much:
Greetings – How the fuck are you?
Instructions – Shut the fuck up!
Problems – I’m so fucked.
Incompetence – She’s chasing her fucking tail again.
Shock – Unfuckingbelievable!
Go home – Get the fuck outta’ here!
Invitation to a Party – Come join the fuckery.
Offering – How about a nice big cup of ‘Shut the Fuck up’?
Befuddlement – What The Fuck!
This should be enough to get you started on your own list of possible uses. Don’t forget the verb uses though; I only want you to be happy.
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20 comments:
Hmm, I would like to think of some witty unlisted use but my brain is not handing me anything. Careful with your shins though, you'll want them later in life.
oh that is to F*ing funny!
I feel your pain about the drawer, I used to do it all the time. I smartened up so I am sure you will!
I think you missed the noun, 'Fuckwit!' - or is that just a British thing? Effing sorry if I was wrong, bloggusnuttus! x
I have always been fond of that word myself.
The Break Up: Fuck off.
Under the influence: Fucked up.
Optional variation for bloggers: Eff.
Optional variation for kids: Fudge!
Mo - They are constantly bruised, but not broken. I'll live.
Leah - That would be f'ing nice, wouldn't it?
Fhina - Fuckwit is my new favorite word!
Cheri - Optional variations for careful adults - FARK! FRACK! FREAK! We could go on for days. Perhaps a blog carnival is in order.
If only I had seen your post BEFORE I gave up swearing for Lent. It would make my communications so much more concise!
This is one of your best.
Motherfucker could be used when referring to a family relation.
I f*ing love you! I use this word all the time....much to my loved one's chagrin:) I try not to use it in front of the kiddos, but everyone else it fair game! It's shocking for most people to hear me say because apparently I come off like a prissy goody two shoes...lol!
Cate - You should always check with me before giving up anything for Lent. Me? I made it easy on myself and gave up making sense.
Lisa - Thanks! I have a specific relative in mind for that word.
Dawn - I f'ing love you too, you prissy goody two shoes!
Hahahaha..."gave up making sense"...I like that. I might give up trying to find a way out of my midlife crisis. Er, sorry...I mean my fucking midlife crisis.
You've outdone yourself, that was fanfuckingtasic!
I was bored to fucking tears at school today. (I thought you should know that) :)
I wanted to say to the cop who pulled me over today, "Go Fuck yourself!"
But I controlled myself (a bit!)
Great list. I needed the laugh!
I don't think anyone's mentioned my personal favorite...
"Fuck me!"
NOT as in, "Oh, please fuck me, you gorgeous man."
No.
As in, "Fuck me! I can't find my keys/have a flat tire/lost a parking space to that bitch/etc).
Wow. That felt good. Thanks!
gudnuff - Save yourself the trouble. The way out of a mid-life crisis is death.
DG - I'm effing sorry to hear that!
She - Impressive self control. Great job!
Diane - 'Fuck me!' is a personal favorite. Used either way, it'll get you where you're going.
Oh for fuck's sake!
Fucktard is a name I've been known to refer as the hubby.
Couldn't locate an email address for you, so I'll ask here: Clarification requested: Uh...are you saying...don't even try giving up my crisis, otherwise I'll die? effin' hell...well that's just fuckeriffic...fugtabulous...whoopie fugday to me...
Well, if nothing else, I think your post has helped me to get over my need to curse like a sailor, so at least there's that. Thanks!
I just came over from Vodka Mom. What a hilarious post! And yet, so informative.
I fucking absolutely LOOOOVE this post. It made me laugh out loud and I forwarded it to my friends. Fuck ya!
Don't forget my personal favorite - Fuckwad
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