PROMPTuesday #49 - What's In My Purse?

It's PROMPTuesday #49! Where does the time go? Here's what Deb came up with this week:

So, this week, let’s look in our purses and billfolds, poppets. Pull something out. Tell a story about that something. Where did it come from? Why do you carry it? What does it mean to you, if anything? (And just so you know, tampons (unsullied) totally count.)

I can assure you that I keep very little of interest in my purse. To tell you the truth, I don’t even like to carry a purse if I can avoid it. So, that being said, I will totally bastardize the intent of the prompt and tell you what’s in my purse, but we probably won’t find anything with deep meaning.

Let’s start with the purse itself. I hate it. It’s cute, don’t get me wrong, it’s a color-blocked Kate Spade knock-off from a neighbor’s purse party. The reason I hate the purse is because it has 4,000 little nooks and crannies, some with zippers, some with flaps, and I can never find a damn thing inside of it. It doesn’t matter if I know for a fact that I just put something in the purse ten seconds ago, I already can’t find it. So there’s that.

I have no car keys in my purse, because I know that I wouldn’t be able to find them, so they’re on my desk. My work keys are not in my purse, they live in my briefcase because that makes sense to me. I DO have lip gloss in there, because I have no lips and I need to do whatever I can to make it look like I do have lips. Such is my existence. I carry no other make-up in there. If it all washes off throughout the course of the day, so be it. That whole outward beauty thing is overrated anyway.

I have no driver’s license in my purse. I suspect it was in there once, but I can’t find it. I seriously haven’t seen it since sometime last summer. No worries though, I know my license number off by heart and have recited it to many police officers. They don’t even raise an eyebrow as long as I produce an insurance card… which is also not in my purse. It’s in my car… because… hello, I can’t find anything in my purse.

Hey, there’s a checkbook in here! There’s something important that has meaning… to someone… who likes to write checks… drawn on the full faith and good will of the US Banking System. Yeah, notice I didn’t say there was actually money in the account. Would I lie to you?

Oh, here! Now this is something cool! Probably my favorite thing in my purse, and I didn’t even know it was there today. It’s my mp3 player. Ha! Today’s playlists include my running track, which would shock the life out of you because I listen to club techno music to run. That’s the only time I listen to it and I NEED it in order to run. I also have a classic rock list on there with Bob Seger, Janis Joplin, Paper Lace (an all-time favorite, Billy, Don’t be a Hero, did they sing anything else?), and lots of other cool stuff. I have an 80’s hair band playlist, too. Stuff like Whitesnake, Poison, Def Leppard, Scorpions, a little Rush, etc. Those were the days, weren’t they?

Now, this will probably surprise you a little bit, but there is also a classical playlist on here. I may have confessed once to a history of playing the violin, and then I immediately forbid you to ever bring it up again, but here it’s coming up again, isn’t it? I played the violin for many, many years and I do have an appreciation for things like the Brandenburg Concerto, Pachelbel’s Canon in D, Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, Vivaldi, etc.

By the way, there is also a bunch of feminine hygiene products in there right now, too. Because, well, does anyone have any chocolate?

That’s about it, guys. The only other thing in my purse, that I can find, is a wad of receipts that will probably start a fire someday.