So as not to risk any misunderstanding or chance of disappointment again this year, I wanted to take a moment to drop you a letter. I know you get a lot of them this time of year, but if I could just have a little of your time, I'd really appreciate it.
Last year I specifically asked you for a winning lottery ticket and you failed me even though I double-secret promised you that I would share and I said pretty please with sugar on top, whipped cream, a cherry, and little ground-up sprinkles.
Dude. I do not take that shit lightly. Do you not understand the importance of this request? I plan to use the money to feed the poor
Think how easy I am making this for you. I have not asked you for 20-30 items that you and your elves will spend weeks and months hammering together up there at The North Pole. Oh, no! I asked you for one tiny, little, not so terribly inconvenient for you request. That is all. ONE THING.
Also? I don't like to think of myself as a tattle-tale, but I think it's only right I should tell you that Michel has been naughty and very complain-y and whiney this year. You can bring me her presents in addition to my winning lottery ticket if you want to. She knows she was bad and she will understand that it has to be this way because I was full of extra goodness this year. Just sayin'. You know? In case your listmakers really didn't state that clearly. I know how hard it can be to find good, competent help these days, Santa. I totally sympathize with you on that.
Ok, thanks, Santa!
Love,
Extra-Good Blognut... who has done nothing at all bad this year
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14 comments:
First!
Booyah!
Now will go read it.
I think Santa should totally grant your request and when he does the baguettes and M&Ms are on your tab! You will need to be my friend and pay for my baguettes and M&Ms because Michel isn't going to be your friend anymore.
You are already my friend, Cheri, and I will totally buy you baguettes and M&Ms. However, Michel will forgive me right away because she knows I have an obligation to Santa to tell the truth and also because I'm one of the few people who are nice to her. You know... 'cause of the whole complain-y whiney thing. She'll understand. You'll see!
WTF, BlognutESSE, are you saying I'm not nice to Michel? Why, I will buy her baguettes and M&Ms and she will KNOW who her real friends are cuz Santa will vouch for me, cuz he KNOWS I always tell the, um, truth, and I therefore will be festooned with gifts and stuff for my all-year-goodness.
Did anybody buy that?
Cheri only wants M&Ms and Baguettes, but I'll be wanting some tuition help, m'k?! I will pray to Santa on your behalf if you promise to pay the rest of my tuition. Blognut sistahs get charity if you win, right?Deal? Deal!
Love you!
Michel will probably get extra gifts this year after all she is living in Sudan which is damn near hell on earth. But I think you should win the lottery, I've been asking Santa for a tummy tuck for years and I keep getting effing exercise equipment! Sometimes the messages get lost.
You're not quite as whiney and complainy as Michel, so I hope Santa listens to you this year... then maybe you could put me on your list of those you'll be sharing with???!!!
I just hope we don't both get winning tickets to the same lottery drawing...not that I mind sharing...but I do when it comes to only getting half of my lottery big prize.
lol. i hope he brings you everything you are wishing for...smiles.
Michel? Whiney?? Not her! lol
Now, I've been away for a short while, but did you really say Michel was whiney?? I guess I missed that!!! LOL
I hope Santa brings you the winning ticket!!! By the way, if he does. . . can we be friends like in real life and everything??? Cause ya know. . friends are supposed to share.
LOL
LMAO soooo you sold out poor ole Michel in your pleading to the big fat jolly dude.... NICE... I see two Lumps of Coal he will be bringing this year.
Merry Chritmas and Have a Blessed New Year (something tells me you may need it) LOL
Your wish is my command... Kerching - Fhina waves her magic faerie wand...
Pffft! The sellotape falls off the wand's base and the twinkly light goes out... Oh well...
Sending you love and twinkly, sparkly light all the same, BN x's and kisses...
GASP! HOW THE HELL DID I MISS THIS SANTA-SLANDER!? I must have been in a cookie induced coma...Good god man!
Santa is not going to buy that shit Blognut. I"m not WHINEY, I state the facts (according to me) and I (as opposed to you) stand up for America against Canada. THey would totally kill you if they could.
Santa is going to be pissed. I wrote him waaay more letter than yhou this year. I also sent $5 to DC to buy a powerball ticket. If you never hear from me again, assume I won. (because you guys will all be dead to me. )
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