Well… it happened. Santa actually listened to me! Well, kinda, anyway. I didn't get my winning lottery ticket, (obviously), but I did get all of Michel's Christmas presents!
A couple of weeks ago, I had the presence of mind to let Santa know that Michel had been rather complain-y and whiney all year and was maybe a little less deserving of her presents then, say, ME. I was just doing my civic duty or something, because you all know it’s kinda true and I have been extra good this whole year and was well-deserving of her presents in addition to my own.
So. I am quite certain that the suspense is killing you, but here is the list of items that Michel obviously asked Santa to bring, but I got ‘em. I think we can learn a lot about our friend from this little list:
Little Debbie Christmas Tree snack cakes (that are already all gone because, you know, they really are kinda tasty).
Talking Battleship. Seriously, Michel? Dork.
Rosary beads. Apparently Michel anticipated that she would celebrate the birth of Jesus with a beer pong game and get herself in the kind of trouble that she’d have to pray herself out of in a big way. Should I send them to her?
A megaphone. No shit. A megaphone. The people of Sudan thank Santa for not letting that fall into Michel’s hands. As if she needs some sort of sound amplifying device so there would never be any way to escape her whining.
Workout clothes. Michel? THERE ARE SOME THINGS SPANDEX SHOULD NOT BE ASKED TO DO. Just sayin’.
A pool boy. Honestly, Michel, Josh would not be happy about this. I’m willing to keep this to myself.
Karo syrup. The white kind. In a plastic bottle. Much like the workout clothes, I have no use for this item.
Last, but not least, well kinda least ‘cause it has no real value, is a note from Santa that states he is not a drug mule, nor is he licensed to dispense medicine, so he could not deliver Adderall or any of the other mood-enhancers that Michel requested.
Apparently she will be whiney again in 2010.
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17 comments:
Oh, this was so funny. I can't wait to come back and read Michel's comment.
What?!?! You got the Talking Battleship game? That is so WRONG! I wanted that one! I even put out for that one! (Cookies, people. I put out cookies. For Santa?) Woe is me, I must have been smoted for backing Michel on some world domination crusadey thing. Yet another unspeakable outrage!
Very funny post and Michel is a doody head.
lol...
Too funny! :) Thanks for the monday morning smile. Happy Monday!
That fat, bearded Bastard!! WTF SANTA!
You took my battleship!
Seriously though, if Santa ain't gonna give me the effin adderall, you need to send me those workout clothes. I'm at the point where I am wearing random outfits that have no basis in fashion, simply because they fit me.
Hilarious!
PS don't send me that karo syrup...I'll just use it for evil.
A pool boy and karo syrup .. I get it, I do.
Ok, starting Mom's 2010 Santa List, now.
WOW, that's some pretty random stuff Michel asked for. Doesn't sound like you got the good end of the deal by getting all her gifts. . . well except for those great Little Debbie Christmas Trees and of course the talking battleship! That game is the bomb-diggity!
I'm sure. . well maybe sure, Michel has learned her lesson from the beer pong incident, and will be a much better girl in 2010. Or at least she will hide it better!
A megaphone? Really? I covet my blog neighbor's property. Totally.
This is hilarious! Love it!
Send me the Karo syrup! That's GOOD stuff!
Damn... I'm glad you didn't get MY list...
Do Not. . . I repeat do NOT. . . send the Rosary beads to Michel. . . she will mistake them for Mardi Gras beads and we know that would be the clincher!
Hysterical!
Interesting. Little Debbie cakes and workout gear?
Happy New Year my friend!! oxoxoxo
A pool boy!?
that's sooo not fair; I've been asking for one of those for years with no luck, and you get one just like that, and you didn't even ask?
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