Let me take a moment to explain to you how cranky blognuts get when they’re coughing, aching, sneezing, stuffy-headed, feverish, and can’t rest. ARE YOU LISTENING?
We get super crabby and we want to kick you. I know it’s uncalled for, but I’m just being honest here. Back away or you might get kicked in a painful place. Blognuts can not legally be held responsible for their actions when they do not feel well. Just sayin’. And, whatever you do, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER!
Your attempts at humor? Are not funny.
Your attempts to comfort us? Are irritating.
Checking on us to see if we’re alive? Only puts you in danger of death.
There’s nothing you can say, even less that you can do, and your best bet is just to leave us alone in our near-death state of being. We are not attention-seeking individuals by nature. Oh, no. We would prefer to be stuffed away in solitary confinement until such time as our eyes have stopped tearing and our nasal passages have opened up enough to allow for the free flow of oxygen.
Besides, having a stuffy red nose that runs all day long and crusts up our blue, fuzzy face is a really bad look for us. We’re not happy in this condition.
Although I will say that I did find one thing that made me feel mildly better for a minute or two, and that was watching the US Hockey Team beat Canada. Good one, eh? I almost forgot I was miserable for a minute there.
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20 comments:
How are you? Are you OK? Is that your nose or are you just happy to see me?
You still alive?
Just tryin' to make you feel better!
Heh heh heh.
This is me, leaving you alone, not trying to make you feel better. In fact, I may have to retract this comment because it does seem to be sort of a way of providing comfort. So if it is, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be funny!
I'm kinda scared to leave this comment because I fear cranky blognuts. However, I cannot NOT comment on a defeat of Canada. HaHA Canada!
I hope you feel better *BUT i'm not sayin you should feel better, I'm just saying you should have the virus go away because I miss my cranky (But not dangerous) blognut!
Obviously, I should not have left this weekend. I should not leave you unattended. Things go horribly wrong.
***red nose that runs all day long and crusts up our blue, fuzzy face***
Well at least you kept your patriotism alive and (sort of) well.
I'm so sorry about spreading my germs. I'll admit it, it was a sneeze-through-letterbox hit-and-run. I feel terrible about it.
Honest! I didn't give this to you! I have no cold...said as I back up slowly and use my hand sanitizer!! I will check on you some other time!
Hugs from a distance
SueAnn
For a crabby sick broad, you sure are funny. Make yourself a hot brandy and curl up with a good book. Colds are just God's way of saying you're doing too damn much.
U.S. hockey team rocked it!
Okay, leaving some herby chicken soup and a box of Kleenex--extra soft--on the doorstep after ringing once...and running away. Consider it medicinal doorbell ditch.
It wasn't me, promise!
What a game, huh?
Feel better!
A nice glass of vodka and orange juice should fix you right up. I stumbled across your blog...didn't mean to intrude but I like what I read here. Very funny so I signed up to follow you but hope I don't catch your cold. Stop by my place and return the favor and I guarantee I am virus free...for now anyway.
http://www.boomerpie.com/
It wasn't me. Why do people always assume it was the leper?
(No offense if any lepers read your blog.)
Oh my god, you sound like a man!! ;))
Hope you are feeling better! Had a good chuckle at your post. Even better chuckle at your tags!
Get better soon! :)
soooo with a red nose and blue face...that makes you purple my favorite color!
Hope you feel better and I am the same way. I would rather have a root canal than a cold!!!
I am not a good one for company when I am sick. I tend to make other people as miserable as myself!
Yikes. I'm askeert to say a word!
Well after your opening paragraph I was thinking there really was no need for you to tell us "how cranky blognuts get when they’re coughing, aching, sneezing, stuffy-headed, feverish, and can’t rest", but after "ARE YOU LISTENING?" I decided to just shut my pie hole and let you finish.
Feel Better!
How funny. Nothing is worse than a cold...well maybe there are worse things but when you have one it doesn't seem that way.
Mary
Is it safe to come back now?
Do I risk getting bitten by a streaming Blognut?
How are you, my crotchety pet? Better, I should hope - At least well enough to go ski-ing, where you're likely to get more cold and wet, I should cocoa!
Can I take my blue surgical mask off now, my dahlink?
;) xxx
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