They Really Should Have Known...

I went skiing with the blognutians and some of their friends last week. Keeping in mind that I hadn’t been skiing in more than twenty years, I’d say it went very well.

And now I am writing this whole informative post as a public service reminder, but it is most certainly NOT about lessons that were actually learned by ME while skiing because, as you know, Blognuts don’t learn lessons. Blognuts fall in the category called Those Who Can’t Be Taught.

No, this post is about the lessons learned by the blognutians; who, as it happens, really should have known better.

1. Blognutians should remind their mother of how to STOP on skis before she plows into them and topples them like dominoes.

2. Blognutians should not engage their mother in a game of follow-the-leader, and then lead her into the woods where she will run into them and topple them like dominoes.

3. Blognutians should not fall when getting off the ski lift, thereby causing their mother to fall on them and flatten them into grease spots.

4. Blognutians should not cut in front of speeding blognuts flying down the hill, or the blognut will fall on them and flatten them into grease spots.

5. Blognutians should not make fun of their mother when she face plants in the snow, because she will aim for them on the next run down the hill and flatten them into grease spots after toppling them like dominoes.

6. Blognutians should not do or say anything obnoxious when their mother is holding a ski pole. Ski poles have all sorts of weapon-like possibilities and blognuts are well-practiced in all ski pole combat maneuvers.

Well, there you have it. In case you ever want to go skiing with a blognut, you will know what you should and should not do in order to prevent being toppled like a domino or flattened into a grease spot. See how well I take care of you?

But really? You should know better.