Every now and again, the hamsters fall of the wheel at Bumblefuck Bank & Trust and I am forced to seek the advice of people who work at a place called The Help Desk, located in a town 40 miles away.
Don't let the name fool you, this is as fine an example of a misnomer as I have ever seen. Judge for yourself:
Blognut: *dials Help Desk*
Help Desk: Hello. How may I help you?
Blognut: Our network connection dropped, is there a global issue or is this something affecting only my location?
Help Desk: Have you opened a ticket?
Blognut: Not yet. There’d be little point to my opening a ticket and forcing you to respond to it if you are already aware of an issue.
Help Geek: Open a ticket and someone will call you.
Blognut: But you’re talking to me now. Can you just tell me if you’re already aware of a problem?
Help Ass: I can’t really do anything for you until you open a ticket and create a record.
Blognut: But our network connection has dropped, so I can’t open a ticket.
Help Idiot: Then you can call us and we’ll open one for you.
Blognut: *tapping fingers on desk* *sigh*
Blognut: *still tapping* *contemplating whether or not to put on a helmet before banging head on desk*
Enlightened Help Dork: Oh. I can open that ticket for you.
Blognut: Why not save yourself the trouble and find out if there is already a record of the problem?
Help Twit: Oh yeah, there’s a problem with the phone company and it’s affecting the lines in our area, so a lot of the banks’ connections are bouncing up and down today.
Blognut: Any idea when it will be fixed?
Helpless: No, but we’re escalating the issue.
Blognut: Does escalating mean fixing?
Help Clown: I guess. It’s hard to say because we’re not really the ones having the problem.
Blognut: Oh, I wouldn’t go that far, I think maybe you’re just having a different one.
And then my head exploded.
A Tale of Two Sisters
3 hours ago
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16 comments:
I love these moments... mostly when they are happening to someone else though!! How would our blogs survive without them?!!
Happy days ;0)
Seriously!! This brings back nightmares of my working days!!
You nailed the helpless desk, dork, geek,and clown perfectly.
No computer = go home for the day.
It's why I thoroughly love the companies that have online customer service chats available.
I don't have to actually hear the stupidity in their voices.
okay you made me smirk.. almost a chuckle thinking about the helmet
ooh! you are LUCKY! We have to call another office to ask them to fill out our ticket, THEN they call us back immediately (I suspect once they do so, they check a box that says "helped"). However, they then ask you to log onto the internet to fix the solution with the "online" connection wizard.
WTF idiot. If I could get online I would post a blog about you!
you just got me all fired up yet again!
I'm sorry that you had to go through that - but you told it really well (I'm still smiling!)
Kitty x
i love all the names for the "helper"....made me laugh out loud.
Your work stories always me feel so much better, because I know I'm not alone. Thanks for the laugh (sorry it was at your expense).
In case you're wondering crying hysterically from frustration does little to help in these situations.
Never mind how I know.
you might have been better off asking to speak to the desk!
Agh! Frustrating! WAs it the same person the whole time?
We have an internal IT department, and I have to say, I adore them. They also do that "gotta pull a ticket" thing, but they are funny, snarky, kind, and I almost love having a problem because I get to talk to them.
And one of them is the Secret Boyfriend of all the women in the office.
Oh those long silences. I know them well. Internet help and health insurance claims department. It's like I need to zip my lip or else a word starting with F and ending with K is going to come flinging out.
ROFL!! Thanks for the laugh this morning! Yes I have had a few of these phone calls myself!!
Sorry your head exploded.
Hugs
SueAnn
I wondered why I had a headache that day. Now I know.
Here to pick up the pieces of the broken Blognut...
A little like that rhyme Humpty Dumpty, but Bloggus is far thinner and lovelier!
Helpdesks are the most helpful thing on earth, non?
Hope you enjoyed your toys, my precious! xox
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