HAPPINESS IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER

I recently read an article on Shine! about the habits of happy people. What? I HAD to check and make sure I was happy because, dammitalltohell, if I’m not happy I want to know about it.

So anyway, they had a whole list of, like, 101 small pleasures people can enjoy everyday. Heh heh. I didn’t see THAT on the list, but we’ll assume that was item 102 and you should get your mind out of the gutter.

No worries, I am not about to make you a whole list of these 102 101 things, mostly because I don’t know why they chose 101 and I am worried that they were trying to be like the dalmations. Personally, I would have gone ahead and added the 102nd item to the list just to make the total divisible by 3 because… I believe we’ve probably talked about my little OCD a time or two, never mind. Oh, and by the way, if you’re still doing the math: 102 / 3 = 34

Did you get that? Yes, I mean you. I know this is hard for you because you are not a math head, but I still love you and we’ll go over that whole number thing soon.

Now where were we? Oh yeah, I was talking about that list. I’m going to petition them to remove or clarify a few of the items because they can’t possibly make anyone happy “as is” and I think it’s important that we note it right here and now before we get misunderstood.

An exercise endorphin high. I dunno. They lost me at exercise.

Finding a couple forgotten dollars in your pocket? If I find dollars in my pockets, I've got on someone else's pants.

The way babies smell. I assume they mean The way CLEAN babies smell and they’re not including the contents of that nasty diaper back there.

Doing something nice for your neighbor. I am sure they meant to say Letting your neighbor do something nice for you. Otherwise, I don’t feel quite as happy and I’m sure the goal here is for me to be as happy as possible.

When someone falls asleep with their head on your shoulder. Um… no. I normally find myself quite UNhappy because of the whole drool thing, and because my whole arm goes to sleep and I end up clubbing myself half to death with my heavy, useless appendage.

The smell of gasoline. I do not endorse huffing. Also? The smell of gasoline only makes me happy if I am pouring it onto the right person, and then that strike of the match? Well, that just brings PURE GLEE to my googly eyes.

Other than that, I was able to agree with the rest of the recommendations, and am, therefore, a happy blognut. Now go forth and make sure I stay that way!