I found a new favorite thing this weekend! Well, what I mean to say is the thing is not new, it’s just a new favorite thing for me. Know what it is?
MY COUCH!!!
I actually sat on it the other day, which rarely happens to me, and before I knew it, I found myself wanting to stretch out on it because it was ten kinds of comfy and it really seemed to like having me there as much as I liked being there. Now how ‘bout that? Who knew?
Also, I can see all of the comings and goings around here from the comfy couch and I don’t even have to strain myself with a dangerous turn of my head. What could be better? This whole thing plays right to my laziness, which, as luck would have it, I have recently vowed to do even better than I have all along. I’ve been lazy about being lazy, but NO MORE!!
My new plan is to just lie here on the couch and make everyone come to me. I will charge a small fee for my attention: five minutes of my time if you bring me one Diet Pepsi; ten minutes of my time if you bring chocolate; half an hour if I get a whole meal or you bring me a snack I can save for later, (and by half an hour, I mean 15 minutes because I don’t honestly have the energy to pay attention to anything for half an hour).
The only thing I haven’t quite worked out yet is whether or not I will get up to use the bathroom, or if I’ll just start peeing in a pickle jar.
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6 hours ago
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13 comments:
I highly recommend covering yourself in potato chip dust when you don't want your children to find you should they get hungry, become thirsty, have homework, need to be driven someplace, or develop other bothersome needs. Hiding under massive amounts of potato chip dust works every time for me.
If people keep brining you Diet Pepsi (and let's admit it, for the generous offer of five precious minutes of your valuable time, thousands will take it up) you will certainly need more than a pickle jar.
What a great plan! We should strart a national movement to get women back on their couches. I love my couch more than I can say.
Pickle jar....HA!!!! But lazing around sounds like a pastime I should pick up and soon! I am pooped! So good for you!
Hugs
SueAnn
uhhmmm....you totally had me there with you..until you brought up the pickle jar. I used to really like pickles. Now, not so much because WHAT THE HELL IS THAT YELLOW STUFF IT IS FLOATING IN!?
WTF blognut!? Now your laziness is ruining my love of food.
I don't even KNOW you anymore!
Pickle jar! Woot, woot! Your couch sounds heavenly. I recently rediscovered my bed. It's wonderful.
I was all friendly with my couch until the day it did something to my neck and now my hands are numb. And have been for a year and a half.
Beware the evils of couching.
lol. You crack me up. You are featured on the daily shout out today. Thanks for sharing your cleverness!
http://live-theuniverse-andeverything.blogspot.com/
Do I get an extra five minutes if I bring a lemon with that DP?
A modern day Delphic Oracle?
Please, if you opt for the pickle jar, could you not post any pictures?
Ok but you'll need to buy a SheWee if you're going to go for the pickle jar option...
Errr, if I ever ask for a cheese and pickle sandwich chez Bloggus, remind me of your (ahem!) new habit, please?
I love my couccchhhhhhhhhhhh...
I love you x
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